Tsk, Tsk, Tina

Today's headlines in the not-so-local rag contain yet another juicy story about Tina Pray, the current undisputed poster girl for the Town of Greenwich wild child. Well, at 46 she's not that much of a child anymore, despite her colorist's valiant efforts, but her behavior is still pretty jejune.

Tina has long been known for her, shall we say, unorthodox deportment. When she tired of her first husband, local attorney Eric Grayson, she went off to a singles party. Jof Amiot, himself single at the time, warned her not to go in, but she blew right past him. There she met Pierre Gagne, whom she invited back to her house on Round Hill Road to join her in the marital bed. When Eric arrived home later that evening, it was immediately clear that Tina had come up with a novel way of announcing that their marriage was over.

One hears that her deposition at the subsequent divorce proceedings was smoking-hot. Her father basically disowned her, which did not stop her, they say, from trying to sell the Round Hill Road house out from under him. Apparently Tina has a serious streak of larceny deep inside her.

And now it has come to the surface again, as she has been arrested for trying to scam an insurance company for a "lost" painting that she is alleged to have surreptitiously removed from her mother's house and then sold at Sotheby's. When her stepfather, Dick Ford, called the police this past May at Tina's insistence to report the painting as "missing" (Dick has a life interest in the house, originally owned by Tina's mother), he told the police that Tina was "a shady character who had stolen from the home in the past, squandered money, and is always in need of more." No love lost there, apparently.

With such a sterling character reference from her stepfather, a multiple-arrest record of her own, and the well-known estrangement from her father, always a generous supporter of police and other charities in Town, Tina was soon called in for questioning. She lied like a trooper, of course, saying she had not seen the painting in question since 2005. When confronted with evidence that she had sold it at auction in 2007, Tina said she was utterly "baffled" and claimed to have "no recollection of that," offering to swear to her innocence on a Bible. Since, of course, Bibles are somewhat scarce in the local cop shop, she did not get an opportunity to do this, thus perhaps avoiding, or at least postponing, an eventual reckoning with St. Peter.

When your scribe first knew Tina back in her younger days, when she and her mother were running Amfit, he and she always hit it off well together. She was fun to be around, easy on the eyes, and seemed to be a reasonably squared-away young lady. But things never "clicked" between us. Looking back, your scribe is unsure whether to be sad or glad of that fact. Perhaps, let's say, a little of both. Sad, because both our lives might have moved in different directions from the ones they took instead, and perhaps Tina would not be in such a pickle right now. Glad, because if these are her true colors shining through in today's headlines, it would not have been a happy relationship.

Tina, here's a word of advice from an erstwhile friend: Use your Bible for something else other than as a false prop to your obvious lack of innocence. Own up to the truth, apologize for what you have done, and turn over a new leaf. Read the story of the Prodigal Son, and think how your father must feel about his prodigal daughter. The lesson of Luke's parable is that it's never too late to make a change, and perhaps the best time of all to do so is when you have hit bottom.

"I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and before thee, and am no more worthy to be called thy [daughter]....'"

You know what happened next in the story, Tina. Perhaps it might happen in your own story, as well.

The (Not-So-) Local Media Are Losing Their Credibility...

Though your scribe refers to the ever-shrinking (except in price) Yellowwich Time as the Local Rag, the fact is that it has now become the Not-So-Local Rag. It's published way up the line in Bridgeport or someplace, and the staff has been cut by something like 90%, if not more, and it really is a misnomer to connect it with the community of Greenwich any longer.

Case in point: their editorial endorsement in the late Town election was in favor of the late Lin-Lin Lavery, who ran so poorly that she finished fourth out of four and lost her seat on the Board of Selectmen (the sigh of relief that went up from Town Hall was audible a quarter of a mile away). Now, if the voters in Town so roundly repudiated the N-S-LR's choice, what does that tell you about their acumen in assessing community issues and thinking? That's right: it tells you that they're totally out of touch with the townspeople, and have no business whatsoever pretending to speak for them.

As readers of this column know, your scribe cordially despises the N-S-LR, and has been glad to watch from the sidelines as karma has caught up with Joe Pisani, Mike Sweeney, Bruce Hunter, and the rest of the rascals who once pretended to provide accurate and impartial news to the Greenwich community. May their fates be an object lesson to perverters of the truth everywhere, and their names be forever written out of the Book of Life.

Thus your scribe was somewhat surprised to find himself quoted in the Rag's election coverage. For well over a decade it has been written in stone that nothing Bill Clark says is ever to find its way into print in their pages. But...suppose he were the one watching closely just as the final district results were entered into the Excel page being projected onto the wall, and the first to do the math (which wasn't hard) and the first to shout, "She's off the Board!!" Meaning, of course, that Lin-Lin had lost her place on the Board of Selectman. Well, it seems the Rag couldn't resist quoting your scribe, even though they got it wrong (they forgot to capitalize "Board"). But wait. This was a direct violation of editorial policy. How could this happen?

Simple, dear reader. Your scribe was referred to merely as "a bystander", even though almost everyone in the room knew full well who he was. His blog has been setting new "hit" records on a daily basis since his campaign coverage began, and many people came up last night to tell him how greatly they enjoyed reading his coverage of Lin-Lin and her escapades.

Well, this cheap trick is about par for the course for Yellowwich Time. One even begins to wonder, in fact, if the editorial board decided to endorse Lin-Lin precisely because of your scribe's scathing coverage of her. It's not outside the realm of possibility, and in fact may be the only remotely logical reason to explain their otherwise pin-headed endorsement.

Likewise, the Greenwich (Dumb-as-a-) Post chose to endorse Lin-Lin as well. This pathetic excuse for a "local weekly" (which is not, of course, local at all, being also published somewhere up the line as part of an agglomeration of once-independent weeklies) has been reeling from pillar to, er, post in recent years. To make their ad pages appear fuller than they really are, they simply print a page or two a second time to bulk out the issue. One can only assume that they, too, are in pretty dire financial straits.

Once again, your scribe is tempted to wonder whether their endorsement of Lin-Lin had anything to do with his blog and its anti-Lin-Lin stance. Do you think, dear reader, that the increasing hit count is going to your scribe's head and warping his better judgment? Well, consider the following:

A few minutes ago your scribe was strolling over to Town Hall, and as he prepared to cross the street there was a loud nasal explosion that sounded for all the world like "Ach-*sshole". The source was the unlovely and porcine Ken-Ken Borksuck, crack investigative reporter for the aforesaid Greenwich (Dumb-as-a-) Post, who was loitering on the street corner like a bump on a log. As there were no cars coming, your scribe proceeded to cross the street, the better to get away from this apparent case of swine flu (or was it swine potty-mouth?). Behind him, he heard Ken-Ken's dulcet tones shouting after him, "Hey, Bill, jaywalking's a serious crime."

So is loitering with intent, thought your scribe to himself, as he continued imperturbably on his way. But once again he began to wonder to himself if Ken-Ken's overt hostility (and he has been doing these things on a regular basis ever since your scribe began to blog) was related in any way to the paper's endorsement of Lin-Lin. If your scribe had somehow been on an anti-Peter Tesei rampage, would the Dumb-as-a-Post have endorsed Peter instead?

Well, dear reader, we shall probably never know the full truth of these matters, and indeed, it hardly matters. The point is that the news coverage in this Town is slanted and inaccurate at best, and downright malicious at worst. And, as the recent political campaign has shown us, it's only getting worse.

Lin-Lin the Loser

Well, of course she's always been a loser in your scribe's book, ever since the day she so rudely interrupted him on Greenwich Avenue as he was doing the Thursday New York Times crossword. As everyone knows, crosswords from that day on demand somewhat more concentration than, say, the Monday version, so your scribe was somewhat affronted by Lin-Lin's obtruding herself into his life that way - and without even a proper introduction. The rest of that day's story can be found at:

http://greenwich-gossip.blogspot.com/2009/07/lin-lin-lavery.html

And now, as everyone in Town already knows, she has suffered a well-merited and ignominious defeat at the hands of the voters of Greenwich. Just think, dear reader: if she hadn't bothered to campaign at all, she would probably have come in second or third. But no, she had to open her big mouth, and as a result she has finished a distant fourth.

This means, thank Heaven, that we are finally rid of Lin-Lin in Town politics. Her running mate, Drew Marzullo, garnered more votes than she did, and thus will represent the Democratic Party on the Board of Selectmen. Lin-Lin has been put out to pasture, for good, one hopes. Even the Democrats in this Town have more sense than ever to let her run for public office again.

One curious bit of news that came your scribe's way last night was that Lin-Lin had no fewer than three speeches prepared: one if she won, one if she lost, and a third in which she would announce her intent to challenge the election results. Truly, dear reader, this woman is delusional. In fact, her concession speech said, in part, "As I stand here tonight and look at all of you, I am a winner." Yeah, right, Lin-Lin.

Magnanimous as always, Lin-Lin went on to exhort her supporters as to how they should treat Peter Tesei in the next two years: "Give him Hell!" Wow! Talk about a gracious loser! Is this what they teach in the Junior League?

Perhaps the best comment on last night's results heard by your scribe came from Lt. James Heavey of the Greenwich Police Department. Jim, as many people know, is a Scoutmaster extraordinaire who has devoted his extracurricular time to promoting and supporting the Boy Scouts here in Town. His comment: "I guess character still counts for something here in Greenwich." Right on, Jim.

In other late-breaking election news, dark horse Carmella Budkins swept to victory in the Town Clerk's race. With her win, along with those of Peter Tesei and David Theis and Drew Marzullo, Greenwich is in good hands for the next two years.

Yesterday the Full Moon, Today the Election...

Whatever the source of the craziness in the air, your scribe hastens to report a rare public sighting of Lee Whitnum, erstwhile contender for the US House of Representative seat presently held by Jim Himes. Like Lin-Lin, Lee-Lee was constantly yammering about more "debates", which both Jim and Peter have been wise enough to avoid.

Lee-Lee has her party clothes on. Do you think, dear reader, that she will be attending Lin-Lin's "victory" party tonight? Talk about the skeleton at the feast!

Local Rag Endorses Loser Lin-Lin, Hikes Price

The indescribably pathetic Yellowwich Time, AKA the Local Rag (LR for short) is a never-ceasing source of wonderment. First, it endorsed Lin-Lin the Loud-mouthed Libeler as its candidate for First Selectman, and then it promptly raised its daily newsstand price from 75 cents to one dollar.

Just a few months ago, you could have bought a copy of the LR for a mere 50 cents. Two price hikes in one year? Wow! Bird-cage lining is getting pretty expensive these days.

Can you spot the signs of increasing desperation at the no-longer local Local Rag, dear reader? From utter abdication of editorial integrity to frantic firings to ludicrous price hikes, they are everywhere to be seen. Thank God the Hearst Corporation will soon be putting this sick puppy out of its misery.

More Lies From Lin-Lin

When, oh when, will this endless stream of pathetic prevarications that keep arriving in your scribe's mailbox come to an end? The other day Lin-Lin seemed to suggest that her factual misstatements of the past were a "dead horse" and that we should "move on." But more dead horses have just come in the mail, and clearly Lin-Lin herself is unable to move on.

Let's look at some of the choice gems in Lin-Lin's latest, which features a series of "while you were out" telephone message slips. "Peter, this is at least the 4th time I have called to see if you are willing to debate me...I can only assume that you don't want to he held accountable for your actions and positions...." This, dear reader, is as clear-cut an example of a non-sequitur as you are likely to see in print. Peter knows from experience that Lin-Lin does not want to debate, but to engage in another mud-slinging contest. He has no interest in doing that again. And it has nothing to do with his willingness to be held accountable for his actions and positions.

Another "memo" asks, "As a member of the BET for 20 years, why didn't you prepare Greenwich for this fiscal crisis? It seems taxes have skyrocketed and Greenwich is still on [sic] a [sic] $8 million budget hole." So Lin-Lin is blaming Peter Tesei for the Wall Street meltdown? She thinks he should have seen this coming twenty years ago? What inanity is this?!

Nor have taxes "skyrocketed" - they have grown at the same modest 3-4% rate as historically set by the BET. And what is this nonsense about Greenwich being "on" an $8 million hole? Lin-Lin claims to have been an English teacher; it seems this part of her so-called resume is as suspect as some of the other false claims she has made.

And, of course, Lin-Lin trots out the "dead horse" yet again: "Please do not hire a personal friend [sic] with no experience [sic] to be our Dockmaster [sic]. Also, please remember that both Republicans and Democrats think that buying your pal [sic] a brand new boat [sic] with taxpayer dollars is unnecessary."

Those two sentences alone, addressed directly to Peter Tesei, are full of so many lies that Peter himself now has a prima facie case against Lin-Lin for libel.

Personally, Peter, your scribe suggests that you go for it. The procedure is simple: send Lin-Lin and her committee (including Brook Urban, who seems to be shilling for Lin-Lin by allowing her address to be used as the source of these scurrilous mailings) a letter (by certified mail or in-hand service by an indifferent person) demanding an immediate retraction. If none is forthcoming, file the complaint, to wit: "On or about October 30, 2009, in the Town of Greenwich, Connecticut, the defendant Lin Lavery mailed or caused to be mailed throughout the Town of Greenwich a brochure which clearly and repeatedly defamed the plaintiff, Peter Tesei...."

Peter, this is not a joke. Ask any lawyer (well, maybe not the mercurial Ed Krumeich) whether a case would lie against Lin-Lin for her lies and defamation. Dollars to doughnuts, they would confirm what your scribe has said, and you would win. Big. As in driving Lin-Lin right out of this Town forever, disgraced and perhaps even tarred and feathered, as she so richly deserves to be.

Lin-Lin's Mendacity: A Dead Horse?

Well, apparently Lin-Lin thinks it is. Your scribe wonders if anyone else thinks so.

Lin-Lin Goes Off the Deep End

Another day, another bundle of gaffes from Lin-Lin. How can this woman keep shooting herself in the foot so often and not keel over?

Today's story concerns a Town-wide mailing from Lin-Lin that accuses her opponent of "cronyism" - the very word your scribe used recently in regard to Lin-Lin herself. Once again, dear reader, we see her habitual projection at work.

And once again, it has come back to bite her in the bum. For it turns out that the subject of her accusation, the Town's new harbor master, had never met Peter Tesei until he was nominated for the post. "I wouldn't know Peter from a hole in the wall," says the harbor master. To which Peter adds, "I did not know him before he applied for this position."

But this, of course, makes no difference to Lin-Lin. "Peter has many friends, and [the harbor master] is very affable, and I thought they were friends," Lin-Lin whines. Someone on her campaign committee ought to tell her that her thinking something does not necessarily make it so. Quite the contrary, in fact, from what your scribe has been oberving recently.

But Lin-Lin refuses to back down. "My claims stand," she said petulantly, and went off to consult her hair stylist about her "do" for her swearing-in ceremony.

It gets worse, dear reader. Lin-Lin's mailing went on to say that "Peter Tesei hired a friend [sic] to be our dockmaster [sic], while we pay his salary." Oops. Dockmaster and harbor master are two different jobs. "A typo," Lin-Lin huffs. "So what if I can't spell. And who cares about the difference between a dock and a harbor? They're all down there by the water somewhere. Besides, I have more important things on my mind, like choosing my wardrobe for my coronation as First Selectman. Or is that Selectwoman? Hmmm...maybe I should learn to spell, after all...."

And who is the "we" who pay the harbor master's salary? Lin-Lin seems to suggest that we, the citizens of Greenwich, are paying the princely sum of $750 for the harbor master's annual stipend. Whoops! The harbor master's position is appointed by the Governor of Connecticut, not Peter Tesei, and his paltry $62.50 monthly salary is paid by the State. This is cronyism?!

OK, what else? Oh, yes, the "new boat for the dockmaster [sic]" that was purchased with "taxpayer money", according to Lin-Lin. But, it turns out, the Town already owned the boat. Oops. True, the Town spent around $2,900 to refurbish and repaint the boat to ready it for its new function. And guess who, dear reader, voted to spend that modest sum? Why, Lin-Lin herself, of course. Oh, my! Cronyism at work? You be the judge.

Peter Tesei sums up the whole brouhaha about Lin-Lin's mendacious mailing this way: "It's not reflective of the truth. To make such statements so irresponsibly...calls into question [her] judgment...behavior like that will get the Town into lawsuits."

Yes, Peter, it will. The harbor master apparently has no plans at the moment to sue Lin-Lin for her reckless, untrue, and slanderous statements, but if he chose to do so, he would have a pretty good case. Fortunately, for the moment Lin-Lin is still a private citizen, and thus only she and her campaign committee would be liable at this point. But what if by some unimaginable twist of a malevolent fate she were actually elected to be First Selectman? Then the Town might be impleaded as a co-defendant, and the taxpayer costs would really begin to take off. Can we afford to have Lin-Lin as First Selectman of the Town of Greenwich, dear reader? Your scribe tends to think not.

Finally, it is obviously high time to address the underlying problem here: Lin-Lin is congentially incapable of telling the truth, it seems. A shrink might conceivably diagnose her as a pathological liar, one who is unable to deal with objective truth as perceived by the rest of the world. And while he was at it, he might add denial to his diagnosis: "Everything I said earlier still holds," says an unrepentant Lin-Lin.

Yeah, right. Perhaps it's all still true in Lin-Lin's own little world, but the rest of us happen to know otherwise. Once again, Lin-Lin has managed to marginalize herself still further. Perhaps she ought to do the decent thing and drop out of the race now, before she embarrasses herself, her supporters, and the Town of Greenwich any more than she already has.

What Planet is Lin-Lin From?

Every time your scribe thinks Lin-Lin can't make herself appear any more ridiculous than she already has done, she manages to surprise him anew. Harken, dear reader, to her latest absurdity, prominently featured on the front page of today's issue (dated tomorrow, for reasons not easily fathomed) of the local weekly, Greenwich Citizen:

"In just a few days, Greenwich voters will walk alone into their voting booths...."

Yikes! When was the last time Lin-Lin voted in an election here in Greenwich? The voting booths have long since been done away with, and now we fill out paper ballots that are optically scanned at the polling station exit to verify that we have not made any glaring errors, such as voting for both candidates for First Selectman.

Your scribe finds this very troubling, dear reader. Lin-Lin claims she is a viable candidate for First Selectman, but she doesn't even know the proper procedure for voting for herself?! There is something seriously amiss here.

Well, unlike her hasty revisions to her web site after your scribe called her out on the factual misstatements therein, Lin-Lin will not be able to redact retroactively her boo-boo in the Greenwich Citizen. She can't even buy up the entire print run in order to destroy it, since the paper is given out free of charge. But if you happen to see her emptying out the paper boxes along Greenwich Avenue and elsewhere in Town, dear reader, you will know the reason why....