Thursday, June 07, 2007

Paris Hilton Pulls a Diana Ross

In the ongoing saga of revolving jail cell doors, it seems that Greenwich may no longer hold the world's record. As faithful readers of this blog will remember, Diana Ross was sentenced to serve 72 hours in the local hoosegow to satisfy an Arizona court's sentence for a drunk driving conviction. Diana was allowed to leave her cell one evening for a dinner party, and sent home another night when there was no female officer on duty (like, the cops couldn't have foreseen this in advance?). The Arizona authorities were far from gruntled, you may be sure; but that's kinda how things work in this town: one set of rules for Diana Ross, and another set for the rest of us.

Comes now Paris Hilton, guilty of violating probation for her drunk driving conviction. Her 45-day sentence was reduced in advance to 23 days, for alleged good behavior (she showed up in court as the judge ordered), and she wound up serving only 3 days (but with credit for 5). So while Diana got around a 50% celebrity discount on her debt to society, Paris wound up with closer to a 95% discount.

Now your scribe has nothing against poor Paris...well, she's not poor, exactly, but you know what I mean. After all, we need to gossip about someone, and she certainly gives us lots of material to keep our tongues wagging. Moreover, it appears that she was suffering from an as-yet-unspecified medical condition while in the lock-up, and I think we should all suspend our disbelief and give her the benefit of the doubt until the mysterious malady is revealed on Page Six and in the supermarket tabloids. Is she pregnant with the baby of an alien space monster? Be sure, dear reader, that the National Enquirer will tell all.

Seriously, it's a little hard to take that some people - most, actually - can't catch a break in the American legal system, while others are given special accomodations and favored treatment. I could write a book about examples drawn from right here in little old Greenwich; in fact, no doubt someday I will. Meanwhile, Paris Hilton has a new piece of ankle jewelry, and is back amid the creature comforts of her four-bedroom three-bathroom Hollywood Hills home. That's the way of the world, dear reader; and while I am sure we all wish her a speedy recovery from her medical condition, let us also hope that she will confine her future escapades to ones that do not threaten to inflict bodily injury on others, but only to rot their minds and numb their brains. After all, she's as entitled to the protections of the First Amendment as anyone else in this great country of ours.


Blogger ERiCA said...

Bwa! I didn't know that about Diana Ross. Hilarious.

June 09, 2007 12:03 AM  
Blogger Bill Clark said...

"Life is a comedy to those who think; a tragedy to those who feel."

Life in this town is tragi-comic, but I prefer to laugh at it rather than get all bent out of shape about the clowns who run the show around here.

The Diana Ross jail cell was a highlight on the tour of the aging police building offered to Town Meeting members last year. Very swank (not!).

The AZ authorities wanted to haul her butt back to their state to re-serve her sentence, but were finally persuaded by Diana's high-priced lawyers to relent. In gratitude she gave a free concert to the town in a park down near the harbor - got all her musicians together, changed her costume for every number, used colored spotlights, the whole nine yards - it was spectacular. I guess most of us would now consider Diana rehabilitated. :-)

Afternote: the crooked police chief who allowed these shenanigans to go on has now resigned and taken a job out of town. Known in these pages as Jimmy Wawa, he will not be missed.

June 09, 2007 1:45 PM  

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