Paris Hilton Update

No, dear reader, this is not about the fact that Greenwich has recaptured the world's record for the fastest revolving jail cell door. We all know that Paris is being brave and toughing it out in jail, with the occasional visit from her sister or the odd ex-boyfriend.

No, your scribe just wanted to share with y'all the following tidbit from Jesse Kornbluth, aka the Head Butler (HeadButler.com) [in Paris purple]:

"...one fact was never mentioned in the media I consumed: the car Paris was driving the night she was stopped doing 70 miles an hour, with the headlights off, in a 35 mile an hour zone. I would bet you may know it's a Bentley, flashy and expensive --- but that's all you know. On the theory that facts may help you decide what punishment is fair in this case, consider this: The Bentley GTC is a 552-horsepower, 12-cylinder, twin-turbocharged vehicle that weighs 5,500 pounds. How much do you think a new Mercedes 500 --- the honking big, top-of-the line sedan --- weighs? 4,100 pounds, or 1,400 pounds less than Paris Hilton's coupe. Which means her Bentley is a cross between a rocket and a tank. Fair to say that if she had hit someone at any significant speed, the ambulance driver wouldn't have needed to rush the victim to a hospital."

As you may recall, your scribe wrote [in Greenwich green], "...let us also hope that she will confine her future escapades to ones that do not threaten to inflict bodily injury on others...." At the time he wrote these words, he had no idea how close to the truth he was. Thanks and a tip of the hat to Jesse for giving us the facts of the case!