The Not-So-Local Rag and Its Far-Out Math

Only in Greenwich, dear reader, can that laughingstock of an excuse for a newspaper known as Yellowwich Time, aka the Not-so-local Rag, try to add two plus two and come up with 150. And nobody says boo.

Well, except for your scribe, of course. This pitiful rag, staffed by illiterates and now, apparently, innumerates as well, has been sliding downhill faster and faster, losing money hand over fist, and perpetrating its pitiful pap on the poor public it seems to assume is its captive audience.

Friday's howler is the "Daily Poll", a silly attempt to engage readers through posing some inane question in hopes of hyping traffic to the NSLR's web site. The question: "Has Tiger Woods' image been permanently tarnished?" The answer: "Yes": 65%; "No": 85%. Your scribe's "undecided" vote was apparently not counted.

How can a newspaper have so little pride in the factual accuracy of what it publishes? The answer, apparently, is very simple: in this case, the few peons who still work there just don't have any pride left. They push their pencils, and tap their keyboards, and could care less whether what they write has any semblance of accuracy. They are living from paycheck to paycheck, hoping to avoid the fate that has befallen 90% of the quondam staff, and which, inevitably, awaits them as well. Only at that point will they look back and realize how foolish they were to sell themselves for a few paltry dollars to an organization which they would be well-advised to omit from their future resumes.

Meanwhile, the only person who may have gotten a boost from these preposterous poll results would be Tiger Woods himself. Except that he undoubtedly has more important things on his plate than reading hack journalism from the likes of Yellowwich Time. Fortunately for him, he's not stuck with the NSLR as his source for local "news". Unfortunately for us, we are.