Friday, February 02, 2007

Why Did the Deer Cross the Road?

Well, if it was between October and December, the probable reason was to get a quickie. That's their mating season, and the time of year when half the annual total of deer-car collisions take place. Last year, it seems, there were 86 such encounters in Greenwich, as opposed to a mere 38 in 2005. Are the deer getting randier?

Oddly enough, empirical observation by deer hunters seems to suggest that there are fewer of the critters around these days. Well, I guess you can figure out what that means, dear reader: if there are fewer deer, but more collisions, the logical conclusion is that there must be more cars speeding along our back-country roads. Does that surprise you?

Well, it seems to be surprising the deer, at least, to judge by the rising accident total. One would think they might start to learn to look both ways before crossing the road, but they have apparently picked up on the reckless habits of Greenwich motorists (as expounded upon the other day by your scribe). The general rule of the road around here is: Let the other fella look out - I'll drive the way I want to, and the rest of the world should just damn well clear out of my way. Translated into deer-speak, the equivalent would probably be: I want my quickie, and I want it now, and those blankety-blank humans better not get in my way. Ka-BOOM!! Horny deer meets Greenwich driver, and the result is never pretty.

State Rep Livvy Floren was driving down Sherwood Avenue in Glenville a year or two ago, and was rudely assaulted by one of Bambi's relatives. She is no longer a member of the Bambi fan club, and promptly came out in favor of the town's deer cull (read "kill"). Many in town had opposed it, and in the event it seems that the cull was contrary to the town's own wildlife regulations. However, legality has never been one of the finer points of our town's governance, as faithful readers of this blog are well aware.

In any event, dear reader, you are cautioned to be on the qui vive when you drive through the back country these days. It's hard to say which are the more dangerous: the four-footed or the four-wheeled menaces; but they are both there to be found in increasing profusion. Proceed at your own risk!


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