The Greenwich Dollar Plummets to Zero

The so-called Greenwich Dollar is now as worthless as the Greenwich Chamber of Commerce that sold them to unsuspecting citizens as another of its brainless schemes to try to justify its existence.

Yes, dear reader, young Kerrin Kinnear (whose name is consistently misspelled by the equally worthless Local Rag, aka Yellowwich Time) won $75 of Greenwich Dollars in an essay contest. When she took them to Wish List on Greenwich Avenue to buy some clothes, she was told by the store manager, Ashley Kane, to suck eggs. Well, maybe not in those exact words, but basically Kerrin's mother, Jill, had to come up with the scratch for the threads.

The Greenwich Chamber of Commerce's logo is prominently plastered at the top left corner of these rubber checks. But will Mary Ann Morrison, the overpriced "CEO" of the GCC, do anything about it? Probably not. She's too busy trying to find more tacky national chain stores to come and take a bath on Greenwich Avenue, now that she has helped to drive out the local businesses that used to thrive here.

For years your scribe has watched as Morrison has browbeat local businesses into joining her organization. More than one manager has told him that he paid the annual dues only after hearing threats of negative PR from her and her minions. Frankly, your scribe would love to be bad-mouthed by Mary Ann and her ilk; it would mean he must be doing something right.

Do you remember the Greenwich Sidewalk Sales Days, dear reader? Time was when they were a happy street fest all up and down the Avenue. Then the Chamber of Commerce took over, charging a hefty fee to participate. Fewer stores participated. Some who dared to hold their own sidewalk sales were issued "bills" by Mary Ann for the participation fee. Whether they allowed themselves to be browbeaten into paying these specious assessments, your scribe does not know. Had he had a storefront on Greenwich Avenue, he would have told Mary Ann to go suck eggs. The sidewalks in this Town are Town property, not property of the wretched Mary Ann and her useless Chamber of Commerce.

The invasion of the chain stores, which for a while threatened to take over Greenwich Avenue like kudzu, was aided and abetted by MA and her myrmidons. Now that the tide is going out, and the Avenue is starting to look more and more like a Western ghost town, Mary Ann is cutting staff and expenses at the Chamber in order to continue to pay her own bloated salary. The next time you walk down Greenwich Avenue, dear reader, know that you can thank Mary Ann and the GCC for all the empty storefronts and parking places. If you look hard enough, you will even see the GCC logo on some of the empty windows.

The same logo that is on the worthless checks, by the way. If your scribe had been so foolish or unlucky ever to have had one of these Greenwich Dollars, and still be carrying it in his wallet, he would be at the courthouse right now filing suit against Mary Ann and the Greenwich Chamber of Commerce. They promoted these fraudulent checks, and their logo is right there in living color. To say that they bear no responsibility at this point is merely disingenuous, and your scribe is fairly certain that the Stamford Superior Court would award him his money back.

Here is a novel suggestion, dear reader: let us all begin to boycott stores bearing the Chamber of Commerce logo until such time as Mary Ann gives Kerrin Kinnear her money back. She and the GCC sold these checks for good American currency, and now they refuse to redeem them?! Maybe Mary Ann can move in with Bernie Madoff to keep him less lonely. The two of them would make quite a pair.